How to Hard Boil Eggs

I have ADHD. It makes me very easily distractible. My short-term memory is pretty shit from it, too. I’ll start doing something, get distracted, and completely forget about the thing I was doing. And the distraction doesn’t even have to be something urgent or complicated.

When I was 17, living with my mother and her boyfriend, I wanted to make some hard-boiled eggs. This is not at all a difficult thing to do. Put cold eggs in a pan, cover it with water, put it on the stove, boil until the eggs are done.

Everything was going great until I laid down, forgot I was hard-boiling eggs, and woke up to explosions.

The smell of burnt, exploded eggs still haunts me, and I’m now 40.

I do, however, still love hard-boiled eggs. And have since both learned how to make them perfectly – it’s in the timing – I’ve also since decided that even though I can make perfect hard-boiled eggs on the stove, it’s much easier for me if I use an egg cooker, which does everything automatically.

My particular egg cooker is shaped like a yellow chick – a bit morbid considering it’s cooking eggs, but morbid in an adorable way. I put seven eggs in the spots that hold the eggs, add 1/4 cup of water to the base, put the lid on, plug it in, turn it on, and when it’s done, it turns itself off. Which means if I forget about the eggs, they don’t explode.

But what if you don’t have an egg cooker?

That’s where the perfect hard-boiled recipe comes in handy.

Just be sure you set the timers. Loudly.

Hard-Boiled Eggs

Perfect hard-boiled eggs are all about the timing.
Course Appetizer


  • cold uncracked eggs
  • cold water


  • Place cold, uncracked eggs in a pan.
  • Cover eggs with cold water.
  • Place pan on stove and turn heat to medium.
  • Bring water to a full, rolling boil.
  • Boil for 2 minutes.
  • Remove from heat. Put lid on the pot. Let eggs sit in the hot water for 11 minutes.
  • Carefully drain the hot water and run eggs under cold water.
  • Peel when cool.

Some notes: Farm-fresh eggs suck for hard-boiling. If you’re gathering your own eggs or buying them fresh from a farmer, you’ll want to let them sit in the refrigerator for at least two weeks before hard-boiling them. Even then, they’re a bitch to peel.

You don’t really need to add salt, vinegar, or anything else to the water. They don’t actually make a significant difference in how the eggs turn out.

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